Friday, October 18, 2013

A Fall Weekend

Fall Weekend

Clockwise: The Kinfolk Table, Fresh candle in Cannabis Santal, Madewell jean jacket, Ray Ban original Wayfarers, J.Crew wool baseball cap, MAC Rebel lipstick, Minnetonka Cally slippers, Pendleton blanket, L.L. Bean Two-Layer Union Suit, The Avett Brothers' Magpie and the Dandelion

As September and most of October has passed me by, I can't help but be excited for this coming weekend. Since beginning homeschool in August, every day has been consumed with the boys. From meal and lesson planning to trips to the park, soccer practice, piano lessons, and everything in between, we're busy, busy, busy! This weekend I have the chance to settle in and take some time for myself.

Before I began homeschooling, my boys were off to public school by 6:50 most mornings (never later than 7:30AM), and wouldn't return until 2:30 or so. I had all of that time to do whatever I wanted--shower, listen to music at great volumes, dance around naked (I think everyone is happy I saved that for my 'me' time)... One of my biggest 'cons' to homeschooling was the lack of this time for myself.

The truth is, I love being by myself. A few weeks ago, when the whole Louis CK smart phone clip went viral (I say viral because, for someone like me, the idea of staying up to watch Conan on television is simply incomprehensible) I started banging out a post piggy-backing on that very subject. Although I never hit the publish button, writing my thoughts on the subject helped me realize just how formative being alone during my high school years were for me. I know exactly what it feels like to be overcome with the sadness that comes along with a simple chord or lyric, to allow those feelings to wash over you and take you hostage. I love being able to feel those emotions, regardless of whether or not it hurts. Needless to say, erasing that time I spent for myself was frightening. Still, my reasons to homeschool outweighed those not to, and I've only just begun to feel that absence. Perfect timing for my mother--in-law to take the boys for the day!

I've been fantasizing about this time; how I'll hole myself in the house with a special candle, my favorite thermals and slippers, new music, and new reading material. How, if I go out, I will carry my comfort wherever I roam, and take the time to enjoy what pleases me. I've been mapping out these hours knowing deep-down, I'll be considering the boys the entire time they're missing. Because as much as I adore time to myself, those boys are such of my self that it'll be hard not to.

I'll do my best.

Happy Weekending!

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